In the News

Flirting | Take a Gentle Approach

Lara Calus

27th September 2022

It is no surprise that flirting is key for the formation of intimate relationships. Studies have found a sex difference in what we look for. Can you guess what it is?

It would be naïve to ignore the fact that there is no one size fits all when it comes to flirting. However there is some research that has suggested differences. It has been found that:

  • traits that men and women find effective in flirting differ
  • men and women interpret flirting differently

So the questions is, how do we flirt effectively whilst still appearing endearing?

The research suggests that women found a gentle approach to be more effective when they were flirted with. Women also report that being interested in them was more important than factors such as ‘courage and determination’. Women also expressed the importance of coming across like a prospective partner, which goes hand in hand with the further results indicating that women found ‘maturity and ‘seriousness’ important traits. This could well be down to women seek a long term prospective partner.

The key differences with the ratings from men was that they rated good looks as as important factors.

Apostolou, Menelaos, and Christoforos Christoforou. “The Art of Flirting: What Are the Traits That Make It Effective?” Personality and individual differences 158 (2020)

Lara Calus

Lara is an experienced teacher of Psychology.

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